Blog

Symbiosis and Love by Louis W. McLeod, Ph.D.

The following article is by an Imago therapist and friend of mine from Atlanta.  The article is about "symbiosis".  Learning to break the fusion of emotional symbiosis is learning how to have healthy boundaries.  You might remember me talking about two kinds of boundaries -- an internal boundary and an external one.  We use our...

Divorce: Pay Now or Pay Later

by Rod Kochtitzky, M.Div. A surgeon announces his retirement at age 55. His amazed and envious colleagues ask him how he can do it. “Simple,” he answers with a smile. “One wife, one house.” This joke, which was bouncing around the E-mail circuit months ago, cuts to the heart of a bitter truth. Divorce often...

Making Love Last

by Rod Kochtitzky Sue falls in love. Sue is thirty-two years old. She is grateful to find a partner. Sue believes she has a “real catch” in Tom. Sue sees Tom as strong and dependable. Tom is grateful to have found Sue. Tom sees Sue as much kinder and understanding than his first wife with...

Relational Heroism: Twelve Strategies and Principles for Developing and Maintaining a Fulfilling Marriage

By Philip Chanin, Ed.D., ABPP, CGP Board Certified Clinical Psychologist Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry Vanderbilt University Medical Center www.drphilchanin.com philchanin@gmail.com   “Any occasion when a more mature part of oneself cuts into an habitual, dysfunctional reaction is an instance of recovery.  It is an example of what (my wife) Belinda calls relational heroism,...

Couples Weekend Workshop by Cyma Shapiro

“The Couple’s Weekend Workshop”(or how to stop childhood patterns, find happiness, and restructure the relationship loop)By Cyma Shapiro I love my husband. But, for the past 15 years, we’ve done a dance of wills, and had innumerable power struggles and issues. Despite a handful of therapists, we haven’t gotten it right. In many ways, we’ve...

Communication: How We Lose It–AND How to Get It Back

by Gay Jurgens, LMSWMost couples who come to me for help define their problem in terms of communication:"We don't communicate well."Our communication has broken down.""Our problem is lack of communication."I used to dismiss this as a simplistic attempt to diagnose a highly complex human problem. But the longer I work with couples and their problems...

EXITS: How and Why We Avoid Intimacy

By Carol A. Anderson and Carole KirbyHere are some questions couples need to ask themselves:1. Why do we "perforate" our relationships with Exits?2. What are some of the ways we use to avoid each other?3. What can we do to gradually change this dynamic in our relationship?To one degree or another, most couples in the...